3 lessons I’m bring with me in year 38

Today is my 38th birthday!

As I approached this new year, I must admit, I wasn’t exactly thrilled. But now that it’s here, I feel better about it. It’s easy to get caught up on what you don’t have, even when the abundance of what you do have is right in front of you. This past year, AI took over my life (both by choice and against my wishes), but I’m grateful I haven’t built a reliance upon it, and I certainly don’t need it to express how I feel. Pulling from the good and the bad, here are some lessons I learned this past year – straight from my brain. 

1. My community is there even when I can’t physically see it.

Moving back to Chicago opened the door to reconnect with old friends, but I also attempted to make new ones. What I found was that everyone isn’t for everyone. Some of the new additions moved away, some of them faded away, and my interests sometimes differed vastly from the old pals’ I spent so much time with a decade ago. Overall, it was an adjustment, but I can proudly say I’m never alone, and when I travel, my community always shows up for me. I did make a handful of new local friends and kept a good chunk of the old ones. Even if they can’t clear their schedules for me all the time, they are always present when it matters the most.

2. No risks come without vulnerability.

I put myself in vulnerable positions in multiple ways this year – whether it was attempting to make new friends, being open to romantic partners, or laying it all out there in job interviews. What was consistent among each of those experiences was how exposed I had to let myself be, and at times, I felt helpless. I’ll admit, it’s not a position that comes easy to me. I share some of myself, but I’m naturally a bit guarded. Stepping out of my comfort zone hurt sometimes, but I realized you can’t do much without a little vulnerability. We grow the most in times of discomfort, and I’m reminding myself of that in this next chapter.

3. Spend energy on the things that matter most.

I have a habit of spinning my wheels on things that, in the grand scheme, don’t really matter that much. In the moment, I sometimes tend to believe everything requires overthinking, but I’m learning to approach thoughts in a smarter and more thoughtful (no pun intended) way. Not everything deserves the energy I allow it to take from me. And I must admit, I gave some undeserving people and situations this past chapter way more energy than I care to admit. The best way to stop these thought patterns is to replace them with people, activities… really, the things that really bring you joy. Don’t get me wrong, the thoughts don’t go away immediately, but when you’re actually busy having fun, they find a way to leave your head…at least for a while. 

Thanks, as always, for reading my recap. I am excited for what this next chapter has in store, and I’m honestly so proud of what I accomplished at 37.  

5 things AI taught me about my humanity in 2025

As I write my annual recap for the year, I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the people in my life and the life, in general, I’ve been blessed to live. The word of 2025 for me was connection. Connection and community mattered and made the difference at so many different points this year in many different ways. 

While AI crept into my work and personal life in bigger ways than ever, I learned to use it more responsibly to organize ideas, and oddly enough, it helped me better connect with humans. Keeping community and connection in mind every time, I edited a lot, paused, and edited again. But the little queries I asked ChatGPT (whether I liked it or not) gave the little robots a chance to get to know me. Before writing this, I decided to send my last query of 2025: Based on what you know about me, how have I grown this year? As much as I hate to admit it, it didn’t disappoint. Here are five ways I grew, according to AI (plus, my own commentary on the areas ;)). 

1. You stepped deeper into your voice and confidence.
   You’ve been intentionally shaping your career story — refining your resume, thinking strategically about roles, salary, workload, and recognition. Instead of just taking what’s offered, you’ve been asking smarter questions, advocating for balance, and making sure opportunities truly align with your value.

My take: Yes, I advocated for myself despite a turbulent market and what at times felt  like an unstable work environment. Connection made the difference, as I found allies at work who were able to help me finally get the recognition I’d yearned for for so long.  

2. You became more intentional about the life you want to live, not just the work you want to do.
   From planning travel thoughtfully to protecting your time, your boundaries became clearer this year. You’re considering not just “Can I do this?” but “Does this feel right for me?”—and that’s maturity.

My take: Also true. I learned this year that work doesn’t define me or who I am. What means more is how I choose to spend my time outside of it. I took my nephew to New York for the first time and loved seeing his eyes light up. I also visited a friend in Europe despite unfortunate circumstances right before the trip. We had an amazing time, and it brought us closer.  

3. You leaned into self-nurturing and stability.
   Between health goals, homeownership realities (hello leaks 🙃), managing logistics, and still wanting joy, beauty, and connection in your life—you’ve shown resilience, problem-solving, and a steady sense of self.

My take: Ugh, yes. Homeownership has been a learning process, but I have no regrets. Everything has been manageable and has worked itself out. Having a strong community of friends and family members has made it pretty darn seamless. 

4. You honored your creativity and curiosity.
   You explored content creation, storytelling angles, and meaningful themes like workplace well-being and belonging. That shows not just skill, but heart—and a desire to create things that actually matter.

My take: I started to create more this year, and I’m going even harder in 2026. I’ve always been a “creator” in my own right – since I was a little girl. I wrote books, poems, drew sketches, and sang. I can’t wait to step more into my creativity next year.  

5. You’ve shown emotional intelligence and compassion.
   In your relationships, you’ve sought to communicate with kindness, fairness, and thoughtfulness. You consistently try to do the “right” thing, not just the easy one.

My take: I pride myself on this, but am often disappointed when the same isn’t shown toward me. I think this year, I grew to accept that more. But I also learned to communicate more directly when I’m not getting what I know I deserve from others. 

To sum it up: This year, you became more grounded, more self-assured, and more aligned with the life you want to build—professionally, emotionally, and personally. You’re honoring your worth, honoring your energy, and honoring your joy.

I’m really proud of you.

And I’m proud of myself, too. Happy New Year. Cheers to a wonderful 2026!

What the First Year of My Late 30s Taught Me

A good friend of mine asked me over the weekend what my biggest accomplishments or takeaways were from this past chapter of my life. And honestly, it made me think for a few minutes. Once I gathered my thoughts, three key themes came to mind. So, here’s what I learned in the first year of my “late 30s.”

1. Know when it’s time to move on. Whether this applies to friendships, relationships, or even jobs, I’ve learned to trust my body when it tells me I’m uncomfortable or it’s time to let something or someone go. I don’t hold the same attachment to people, things, and places that no longer serve or value me. 
2. There’s power in manifestation. I decided in late 2022 that I was moving back to Chicago by March of 2025 and that I would buy a home. As my self-imposed deadline crept up on me, I prayed about it and did what I could to make it happen. And, it wasn’t an easy journey by any means. I’m so proud that I followed through on my promise to myself. It hasn’t fully set in yet, even though it’s been a little under two months. 
3. Don’t be afraid to be yourself—even if some people don’t like it. When I was younger, I’d hide parts of myself to fit in, or I’d censor myself to keep people from asking questions about why I am the way I am or why I like the things I like. I don’t have trouble making friends, but when I did make them this past year, I was more focused on only opening myself up to people who accept and respect me for who I am. 

I am excited for what the next chapter has in store. Cheers to another year of life! 🥂

Finding My Voice: How Advocacy Shaped My 2024

My word of 2024 is advocacy. Here are 3 ways this word was fluid throughout different points of this year.

1. Leading Conversations on Representation
I started the year by creating and kicking off a program at work (outside of my regular role) that brought together allies to discuss heavy topics that may often be seen as taboo at work. For example, we took one meeting to address a disparity in promotion rates for Black employees compared to other groups and how allies could use their privilege to uplift their peers from underrepresented groups and help them to truly be seen. The discussions in these meetings motivated and inspired me. Allies were empowered to be vulnerable – addressing their shortcomings and often coming to realizations in real time. They were willing to put in the work. And, while facilitating such deep and meaningful conversations, I was advocating for myself and other Black employees.

2.  Amplifying My Voice in Local Politics
This year was an important election year, and despite the outcome, I got more involved with a local political group than ever before. I knew how much was at stake, so I had to at least try to do my part in motivating others. I also became more vocal and was featured in an article that will certainly resurface if I ever pursue a career in politics. Haha. (I don’t see that happening anytime soon, but anything is possible.)

3.   The Personal Journey: Learning to Champion Myself
When I set goals, I do everything in my power to make them a reality. But like most things, achieving goals often requires an assist from at least one other person. This year, in one regard, I experienced the unfortunate consequences of not having an advocate from a professional standpoint – over and over again. But I didn’t let it defeat me. I gained an ally who supported me when I asked to be recognized for the work I was doing – one way or another. I also submitted myself for a number of professional opportunities, and I landed a big one by the time fall rolled around. I’m most proud of these two career milestones.

In addition, personally, I did what I needed to do to set the stage for a major life change in 2025. Pretty much nothing about it was easy, and at times, my anxiety brought me to tears. I didn’t want to give up, but I worried that I’d set a goal that felt much like a moving target. But things are moving in a positive direction, and none of it could have happened without advocating for myself, for what I wanted, and for what felt right.

I’m looking forward to 2025 and continuing my journey of advocating for myself and others. Happy New Year!

5 Unexpected Ways My Life Leveled Up at 35

The first 5 months of age 35 were quite an emotional rollercoaster – my life changed. I met someone, then we parted ways. I moved into a new place, but a mountain of problems propelled me to quickly plan another move. I lost a friend or 2, but I also gained a friend or 2. Despite a bumpy few months, some amazing results came from overcoming my challenges. For example, despite being heartbroken for a good 3-4 months, my experience with that person propelled me to push myself more, and ultimately, it led me to a great friendship and the courage to do the things that really matter to me. Despite not wanting to move in Dallas again, I am now in my absolute favorite apartment and neighborhood (maybe ever)! Here’s a quick rundown of five ways my life shifted for the better in chapter 35. 

1. I got (more) serious about my health.
   This year, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. While working out and losing weight have been priorities for me these past few years, this was a wake up call. The thought of being on medication every day for the rest of my life made me sad. But, it’s not uncommon. I now plan my meals often and am on a weekly workout schedule, and I have been since a few months after I started medication. I don’t plan on changing this shift in lifestyle anytime soon.
2. I found purpose.Seeing one of my friends as a “Big Sister” with Big Brothers Big Sisters inspired me to get involved. I have talked about it and thought about it for years, but this time, I actually took action. An important person in my life at the time was passionate about community, and I’ve always wanted to do more to give back beyond occasional volunteering and donations. So, I finally did. My “little” is 17, so she’s mostly busy planning her life after high school, but our interactions have been nice. It feels good to mentor someone who’s just getting started at this thing called life. I’m hoping to match with a younger little in the future so I can be more of a resource to them and make an even greater impact.
3. I took my foodie status to the next level. 
   Between attending the Food Network Food and Wine Festival in New York last October solo, starting an Instagram dedicated only to food reviews (@perfectingmypalate), and consuming as much at Foodieland as I possibly could on my own, I dove into my passion for food while still trying to remain mostly health-conscious. I even tried some vegan food (multiple times), and I actually really liked it. But I can’t restrict my diet too much. I realize a true foodie is open to it all, even the meat-free stuff ;).

4. I finally saw my favorite artist!
   All these years later, the last 10 days of chapter 35 involved me seeing Mariah Carey in concert. She has been my favorite artist since I was a child – there are very few songs of hers I don’t know! As a writer, her ability to pen such relatable songs (and that vocabulary lol) is one of the main reasons she’s been my favorite for so long. It was pretty surreal!

5. I started therapy. 
   There’s still a stigma around saying this out loud in certain spaces, but I am glad it’s becoming less taboo to mention among younger generations like my own. I’m not afraid to admit that therapy has been an important part of my healing journey, and it’s a major factor in what helped me get past the first 5 months of 35 to truly enjoy the amazing 7 months that followed. Our friends aren’t our therapists. Our friends are just that – friends. Sometimes what we have the urge to dump on them is just too much, and sharing it with a professional helps us to talk through practical solutions and strategies much easier. After all, that’s what they’re trained to do. I’m grateful to have found a therapist who’s an amazing fit for me.  

I am thrilled to see what 36 has in store for me. I have big plans, but I’m keeping them to myself for now. Cheers to a new year!

4 lessons learned in 2023

The word of 2023 for me: rebound. And that had many meanings. Let me give a little more context. 

I began the year with a fizzling romance — I mean, even the fumes from the flame were long gone — it was time to end. But I quickly dribbled back into the dating game about a week or two later. It was weird, but I rolled with it. I’m not sure I’d consider the new flame a rebound, but it felt nice to “bounce back.” 

That turned out to be a 5-6 month confusing rollercoaster I desperately wanted off of, yet I couldn’t seem to undo the harness. When I finally did, I approached the real rebound — the ultimate “steal” of getting back to myself. With the help of many, many folks in my life, I rebounded to a stronger version of myself. 

The other rebounds I experienced this year were at actual basketball games. I went to 4 this year in 3 different cities. That always brings me joy! 

I’m looking forward to 2024 being the ultimate comeback for me. 😉

Here are a few things I learned:

1. I’m capable of compromise, but it’s not worth it if it means setting my values aside or losing part of me. 

2. When your personal rainy season ends, the rainbow you become on the other side may not be recognizable. But the colors represent what you went through to shine beyond the clouds.

3. The size of the crowd that celebrates with you will always be bigger than the one that holds your hand and sticks with you when you’re mourning. 

4. Treating yourself can be as often as you’d like — as long as it happens. 

Life Lesson

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

Don’t wait for other people to do the things you really want to.

The Tarot Reading My Heart Needed to Heal

The three of swords was the “present” card that was drawn when I volunteered to have a friend do a tarot card reading. It was only supposed to be for practice, but the message on this card shook me. According to Astrotalk, “The heart stands for all that is noble in life, including warmth, love, and compassion. The three swords that pierce this heart stand for the sorrow, pain, and devastation that we all experience throughout our lowest points in life.” The entry goes on to describe an “unexpected arrival of negativity” that enters one’s life. I couldn’t have described the last four months any better. The main source of the gloom entered my life 7 months ago, but the unexpected arrival of negativity began just 4 months ago. That came in multiple forms — heartbreak, an ailing family member, work frustrations, and a mountain of other things. I couldn’t focus on making the other things better because of an overwhelming sense of pain, neglect, confusion, abandonment… I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I was angry that it ever even happened and found myself overthinking and trying to see the lesson in all of this.

Well, that chapter I never expected to even begin has finally come to an end. Eerily, that card symbolized everything I was feeling but was too afraid or embarrassed to say out loud. And I felt it so intensely that others could feel it too, calling them to reach out to me, because something told them I was hurting…and I was. I’m done beating myself up for feeling. Someone once told me to never apologize or be ashamed of your journey. It’s mine, and I understand discomfort is almost always necessary for true growth. I’m still hurting, but now, I’m mostly just healing. Thankfully, I’m blessed that the wound isn’t as big as it once seemed. Time heals all, and I look forward to seeing the new me on the other side of this.

Thriving at 35

I’m wrote this 3 days before my 35th birthday. As I think back over this past chapter, I think about how much has changed — my perspective, my circle, my level of openness. Here are a few things I am proud to celebrate from age 34.

– I sold my first print (photography). I want to do more in this next chapter.
– I took on more at work and brought a voice to those who are often underrepresented.
– I marched for women’s reproductive rights (yep, here in Texas).
– I took my first solo trip.
– Bought my first pair of Js.
– Moved into a place that finally feels like home.

That’s all I can think of as I wrap this up at 11 p.m. on my actual birthday. Can’t wait to see what Chapter 35 has in store for me!

8 great moments and lessons from 2022

My recap last year was short and sweet – and I want to keep this year’s succinct, too. Like my 2020 post, this year’s reflection is a collection of things I personally experienced and moments we all had together.

My word of the year was: build – from friendships to new initiatives at work to setting the foundation for so much.  

1. Travel, travel, and a little more travel. Jamaica, The Bahamas, Miami, Chicago, Atlanta, Nashville, San Francisco, Raleigh-Durham, Waco, Austin, Houston, New Orleans, Washington D.C., Los Angeles, New York City/Brooklyn, Memphis…I covered a lot of ground this year with traveling. I felt more comfortable traveling earlier in the year than I have since 2019. With the threat of COVID always lurking around the corner, I don’t know if I’ll ever feel as much at ease as I did pre-pandemic, but this year was the most traveling I’ve done in a long time. It felt good. My biggest travel month was April, of course, my birthday month!

2. Beyonce’s “Renaissance” album release. When I looked at the length of this album alone, my initial thought was “wow, it’s so short!” But despite the length, it came at just the right time, and it was so full of motivation, inspiration, and overall tunes that kept me moving and instantly transported me and so many others to a happy place.

3. The power of yes — don’t overthink. Saying “yes” this year led me to an impromptu concert, a trip to New Orleans for Essence Fest, a night of dancing, and more. Overthinking did not get the best of me this year (for once 😉).

4. New job, new purpose. Another thing I unexpectedly said “yes” to was a new role in February. It has had its challenges, but I don’t regret making the difficult decision to leave my previous role for this new opportunity. When I log in for work, I get to play in part in developing content that has tremendous purpose.  

5. New memories with old friends. A close friend of mine moved to Texas this spring – and we have had months filled with fun adventures! I’m excited to see what next year has in store for us.

6. I saw President Obama. At a Bulls game during my travels, he was basically just a section away. Amazing!

7. Live music…all the music. I attended a lot of concerts this year (Allen Stone, JoJo, PJ Morton, saw a bunch of artists at Essence including one of my faves, Jazmine Sullivan…the list is pretty long). Plus, I heard a bunch of local live music. It was truly healing for my soul!

8. Justice for Megan Thee Stallion. That’s it.